Peggy Bardarson’s Segment
March 30, 2003
Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Whidbey Island
This I believe…
My name is Peggy Bardarson. I have been a Unitarian Universalist for over thirty years. I was raised by loving parents in a devoutly Christian home. We went to church more than anyone I knew. My parents were volunteer church musicians at the local Methodist church. My Mom was the choir director, my Dad the organist. Both were excellent pianists. My interest in music was nurtured in my family and much of it centered around church. The habits of a lifetime have persisted and I find myself still a very church and music-centered person
I consider myself a born-again Unitarian. My Christian orientation is important, but I could never return to Methodism or any other dogmatic denomination. I find Christianity, as practiced in main stream churches, restrictive and stultifying with its worship of God as an entity separate and superior to humankind. his is a God who must be petitioned, placated, obeyed, an intimidating, judgmental and rigid being that has all the power, leaving us “not worthy to sweep up the crumbs from under his table”.
I believe we have more power than that.
I have moved on and am no longer stuck trying to figure out how the creative evolving nature of truth and spirit can be contained in a document such as the Apostles’ Creed, which even my devout mother said she didn’t believe.
I love our UU principles and affirmations because they honor the diversity of human belief and experience and the interconnectedness of all life. I truly believe we UU’s are on to something big and important that could change the world.
That said, let’s get down to the nitty gritty. One of the topics we were assigned was to share our ideas on the meaning of life. This is a tall order and great minds have wrestled with it for eons. When I was in college a very popular Professor of Theology, John McGee, spoke to us saying that he thought our destiny was to “become aware of God”. I still think that is as good an answer as any and can encompass the spiritual journey we all make through life. If there is a god, and often I am not sure, it is spelled in lower case letters. My god is compassionate, not vengeful. My god is forgiving and understanding and would let everyone into heaven, if there is one.
I believe that divinity resides in all human hearts as well as the capacity to do evil, and that the divine is not separate but part of all of us. If we listen we can hear that “still small voice” speaking in our hearts. Hearing it is a lifetime learning project.
I believe in Amazing Grace as a force operating in our lives and the entire universe. This is a dependable source of generosity, and guidance, goodness and opportunity –for second, third and fourth chances. And it is Amazing. As the old hymn says: “I once was lost, but now am found, was blind but now I see.” I have experienced this. I don’t think we earn this or deserve it by doing good. It’s just there. This has nothing to do with any dogma about accepting Christ as your personal savior. My god doesn’t require that because it leaves out too many Muslims, Jews, pagans, Buddhists, atheists, agnostics, outcasts and ordinary people.
I believe in heaven on earth and that we make our own heaven or hell by the choices we make as free spirits. By the same token I believe that we are not in charge of everything that happens to us. Bad things happen to good people. My god does not blame the victim, the child born to abusive parents, the cancer sufferer, the soldier fighting the war he did not devise, and the innocent Iraqi citizen. I have recently watched the 12-year-old granddaughter of a dear friend succumb to cancer after a long battle. My god does not “call home” such innocents in a cruel and capricious way. As to my own death, it is a part of my life, natural and inevitable. I have already lived a long time, longer than my dad. No one gets out alive. I do no dwell on it. The idea of an after-life was a great comfort to my devout mother who believed that she would be reunited with my Dad in Heaven. I would like this to be true, but am not sure.
So what is life about? Viktor Frankl, the author of “Man’s Search For Meaning,” the proponent of “Logotherapy” was a psychiatrist and survivor of the Holocaust who lost all his family in the death camps. He sums it up for me. “Life is an opportunity not a meaning.” I will leave finding meaning to wiser heads than mine and dwell on the opportunities in front of me. Even now, when the evil of an unjust war has enmeshed our nation, there is has never been a better opportunity for investing in peace, through dialogue, and by using our UU Principles, to invent a new and better world.
Sometimes, I am discouraged when I see opportunities lost, but I believe that each bad situation has in it the seeds of redemption and new possibilities. This makes me something of an activist and a believer in synchronicity. Rather than curse the darkness, I will light a single candle and take a small step in the direction of a goal. And often, bingo, the Universe cooperates and opens a door I didn’t know was there and away we go. For example, I will testify that my participation in the anti-war protests here on the Island has been one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done, despite the failure at this time of attempts to stop the war before it started. I am part of something powerful that has lifted my despair, that has made me feel connected to a huge universe of like-minded folk around the world, something that is growing stronger and will be increasingly heard. I believe that good will comes of our efforts and that even now a new peace dialogue is being engaged in.
We were asked to say what we value above all else. As a mother of five, I value my family hugely. They are my precious treasure and my life. I value my community and relationships. As a still active musician, my ability to participate in music making is important and makes me happy.
Finally, I believe in humor as a powerful anti-dote to despair. It is so much better to laugh than to cry or tear our hair. And lest I am accused of taking myself too seriously, I offer this closing thought.
INNER STRENGTH
If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you when,
Through no fault of yours something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can do all these things,
Then you are probably the family dog.