Hags and Heroes

[Stories are a pathway to personal and spiritual growth and enlightenment that have been used by religions for millennia. A story from the King Arthur legends will introduce you to using stories in the journey towards wholeness. Learn how a hag can tell you the truth and how a hero can help you hear it. You will see how to let your own ugly parts be transformed into beauty and wisdom.]

This is a sermon given on Dec. 8, 2002 at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Whidbey Island by Sarah Richards.
©Copyright 2002, Sarah O Richards, Published by Iris Publishing. Duplication in any form, printed or oral allowed by written permission only.	Many of the ideas of this sermon came from the wonderful work of Polly Young-Eisendrath. This version of the story of Sir Gawain and the Lady Ragnell was adapted from the version on the web page: Newsletter Article, Polly Young-Eisendrath, March 2000

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Responsive Reading (from Singing the Living Tradition) #602, Lao-Tse
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Stories.... we hear little paragraphs of life stories through our candle sharing. We buy books for kids in order to read the stories that educate and entertain. We’ll do that today, using a story from the 11th or 12t century listening to it at three levels: The hearing of the story as entertainment, the societal and personal commentary contained in the story, and the process of knowing your own psyche a little better through stories.

Stories have been used for millennia by religious teachers and leaders to try to convey ideas, concepts, and rules of living to people. They are used because they are powerful tools - they engage you on both conscious and unconscious levels through imagination and what we call projection. When you hear a story you are going to imagine yourself inside of it, one way or another, or trying to get out.

Carl Jung (the famous psychiatrist whose writings still inform and inspire millions today) had ideas that help us understand how stories can be so powerful. He managed to describe and prove the existence of what he came to call the personal and collective unconscious. To help in the effort to make what is unconscious become more conscious we have Jung’s concept of complexes. Complexes are patterns of thought, action, and feelings that are compelling in a non-rational way. They are linked to archetypes, which are patterns of thought and action that organize human instinctual-emotional responses. In a simpler way, complexes are patterns that we follow, usually unconsciously, as we interact with others and within our own minds. In order to really understand complexes you may like to know names of some of them. Bear in mind, each complex has it’s negative and positive side. There is the mother complex, the father, the hero, the shadow, the inner man (or animus) and inner woman (anima), and one that will really surprise you as a complex is the sense if “I”.

When a complex is activated you may find yourself doing, thinking, feeling things that are out of the ordinary, or don’t feel as if they are completely in your control or you may find yourself acting in habitual but not necessarily rational ways. You may say to yourself:

“Holy cow I sound like my father” or “I can’t believe I just said that” or “I don’t know what came over me”.

Complexes are extremely influential in how you relate to other people. They are much easier for others to see in you than they are for you to see in yourself. When you are caught in a complex you are remarkably unwilling to change or shift whatever it is you are doing. Think of a recent argument with a person you live with or a friend during which you were aware only that the other person was amazingly obtuse, stubborn, and foolish and so you had to stick to your perspective no matter what. Chances are, you were caught in a complex and weren’t free to use the full ability of your rational mind to find a compassionate or creative solution to the dispute.

Understanding how they work inside oneself is a lifelong task. The purpose of trying to understand them is to get as much of your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings into consciousness as possible, which in turn, increases your ability to have choices of how you act. This brings the possibility of increased peace into the world because you can have fewer “knee-jerk” reactions that you may later regret.

Remember the words in the reading... peace in the world starts with peace in one’s heart... and I’ll add, peace in one’s heart is found by compassionately discovering the truth of what really is in that heart. This is where navel gazing becomes an political act - it’s not all there is, of course, but according to many spiritual leaders and students of Jungian thought, it is a necessary component of any significantly healing action. Otherwise, we operate too much out of unconscious complexes, which leads to actions such as those, for example, to which our current president is prone.

Stories are extremely powerful in helping people see archetypes and complexes. They can also present solutions to the unconscious mind that the conscious mind doesn’t recognize. I was thinking of that when I went this week to see the latest Harry Potter movie - lots of archetypal figures, including the battle between good and evil. I was watching noticing the things that were slipped in, that have the chance to influence kids’ ideas of how to live a noble life - all disguised by spiders, magic, and monsters, so they can’t sense the medicine as it goes in.

Once upon a time, more years ago than you’ve been alive and yet it could be like yesterday.....

This is how many stories start - this beginning gets the attention of your unconscious mind - it’s saying, this is going to be something beyond today, beyond time, it’s something that needs your imagination.

King Arthur was out hunting a great white stag at the edge of the oak woods when he looked up and found himself confronted by a tall, powerful chieftain, swinging his sword and appearing as if he would cut down the king on the spot. This man was Sir Gromer, who declared that he was seeking revenge for the loss of some of his northern lands to Arthur. Since Arthur was unarmed, Sir Gromer showed the king mercy and gave him a chance to save his life.

Gromer said “You have one year to return unarmed to this spot with an answer to a question. If you answer the question correctly, your life will be spared; if not, you will lose your head. The question is: "What do women desire above all else?"

Arthur agreed, but he was very discouraged. This must be a trick question, he thought. He felt certain that no one knew the answer. Back at the castle Arthur told the entire story to his knight Sir Gawain, who was known as the wisest, bravest, most compassionate and courteous of all the Knights of the Round Table. The young knight, in contrast to the king, was hopeful. He and Arthur had a year to search the kingdom, and he was certain they would find the right answer.

We are introduced to three of the characters in the story, the rather ineffectual leader who has positional power , the bully, and the hopeful youth. Also there is the dilemma of the story that the characters will solve one way or another. These characters, and the ones that follow, are representatives of complexes that live inside our psyches - to one degree or another.

Almost a year passed, and Arthur and Gawain collected many answers, but not one had the ring of truth. The appointed day was almost upon them when one morning Arthur rode out alone through the purple heather and golden gorse, deep in thought about his predicament. At the edge of the oak woods, he was suddenly confronted by a large, grotesque woman who was covered with warts and almost as wide as she was tall. Her eves met his fearlessly as she declared, "You are Arthur, the king, and in two days you must meet Sir Gromer with an answer to a question."

"Yes," Arthur replied hesitantly, "but how do you know about this?" "I am the Lady Ragnell, and Sir Gromer is my stepbrother. You don't have the right answer, do you?" "I have many answers, and I don't see how it concerns you," Arthur retorted, gathering his reins to turn and ride home. "You do not have the right answer," said Ragnell with a confidence that filled Arthur with gloom. She said "I have the answer."

Arthur turned and leaped off his horse. "Tell me the answer and I will give you a large bag of gold!" "I have no use for gold," Ragnell replied calmly." "Nonsense, woman, you can buy anything you want with it! What do you want, then? Jewelry, land? Whatever you want, I will pay you -- that is, if you have the right answer." "I know the answer. I can promise you that," responded Ragnell. After a slight pause she added, "I demand in return that Sir Gawain become my husband."

Arthur gasped. "Impossible!" he shouted. "You ask the impossible, woman. I cannot give you my best knight. He's his own man, not mine to give!" "I did not ask you to give me the knight Gawain. If Gawain agrees to marry me of his own free will, then I will give you the answer. Those are my terms." "Terms! What right do you have to give me terms? It's impossible! I could never bring him such a proposal." Ragnell stared calmly at the king's face and simply said, "If you should change your mind, I will be here tomorrow." Then she disappeared into the woods.

Shaken from this strange encounter, Arthur rode home at a slow pace, thinking to himself that he could never speak to Gawain of this matter. The loathsome woman! How dare she ask for the finest knight in marriage! But the afternoon air was soft, and the fateful meeting with Gromer weighed heavily on Arthur. When the king returned to the castle, he found himself telling Gawain about his adventure, concluding, "She knows the answer, I'm sure of it -- but I didn't intend to tell you any of this."

Gawain smiled sweetly, not yet knowing Ragnell's specific proposal. "But this is good news, Sir. Why do you sound so discouraged?" With his eyes averted, the king reported Ragnell's demand, along with a detailed description of her grotesque face, warty skin, and bulging size. "How fortunate that I can save your life!" replied Gawain immediately. Over Arthur's protests Gawain stated, "It is my choice and my decision. I will return with you tomorrow and agree to the marriage, on the condition that her answer saves your life."

What can these complexes/characters look like today?

Today’s hag can be recognized as a woman who is consumed by self-hatred, her body image is one of being too much, too fat, too, too. The woods in which she lives, is a place where she is not listened to by her family, and she is ostracized, feared or bullied.

Today’s hero can look really good, but is not, in fact, in relationship with the woman in his life. He is in service to an ideal not to a relationship with a real person. The hero cannot relate to the hag through rational means or bribery. He is frightened by her and paradoxically, he will look to her for the answers. You can see him today when he asks for answers from his wife (or even therapist) but doesn’t listen to them and ignores the advice.

Arthur, not considering the full catastrophe of marriage to a hag, is willing to sacrifice Gawain to protect his own position and power. Gawain himself, doesn’t fully acknowledge the depth of what was being asked of him when he agrees to do something so repugnant in order to save the King and his Round Table. He is in complete service to an ideal with no thought to the reality of his life.

Early the next morning Gawain rode out with Arthur to meet the Lady Ragnell. Even seeing her face-to-face did not shake Gawain's resolve. Her proposal was accepted, and Gawain bowed to her courteously. "If tomorrow your answer saves the king's life, we shall be wed." On the fateful morning Gawain rode out part of the way with Arthur, who assured the knight that he would try all the other answers first.

The tall, powerful chieftain was waiting for Arthur, his broadsword gleaming in the sun. As Arthur read out one answer after another, Gromer shouted, "No! No! No!" until at last he raised his sword high above his head. "Wait!" the king cried. "I have one more answer. What a woman desires above all else is the power of sovereignty, the right to exercise her own free will."

With a loud oath Gromer dropped his sword to his side. "You didn't find that answer on your own! Cursed Ragnell gave it to you! I'll cut off her head. I'll run her through with my sword!" He turned and plunged back into the forest, a string of curses echoing after him.

Arthur returned to where Gawain waited with the Lady Ragnell. All three rode back to the castle in silence. Only Ragnell seemed in good spirits.

Now, most medieval people would immediately understand that there is great danger in joining with a hag. Hags would ride their victims in the night robbing them of any life force and vitality. To kiss a hag would allow her to suck out your soul. This is, of course, unthinkable. Union with this hideous prospect would be avoided at all costs - so they had both hoped the answer she supplied would not be needed, but, alas, she did have it, and now the unhappy men faced the horrible promise.

King Arthur drew Gawain aside. "A postponement might be in order," he said. "I gave her my promise, Sir. Would you have me break my word?" Gawain replied. So the wedding took place in the abbey, and the strange wedding feast was held before the entire court. Throughout the long day and evening, Gawain remained pleasant and courteous. In no way did he show anything but kind attention to his bride.

At last the wedding couple retired to their chamber. "You have kept your promise well and faithfully," Ragnell observed. "You've shown me neither pity nor revulsion. Come kiss me now that we are wedded."

The kiss Ragnell demands is a challenge to his lip service to his promise. Was is he really willing to risk it all, believing that his soul was about to be sucked out?

Marriage as an institution seems to cast a spell over participants - there is a creative and really very funny book out by Francie’s cousin titled Married to Mommy? It describes the transformation of women and men into living with a Mommy forever once the marriage vows have been spoken. This book addresses some of the aspects of being caught in the negative mother complex when people are stuck relating to each other as our characters can represent in this story so far.

The ancient purpose of marriage as one of possession and control over paternity is not that distant. Women are still “given” by their fathers to their husbands. Bill Moyers’ show with Joseph Campbell showed in some cultures there are rituals that dramatically demonstrate that a marriage is like a funeral to a woman, in which she looses her life. It is almost impossible to refrain from falling under that spell.

Look at today’s women, for the most part they are able to hold careers which lessens the husband’s burden of providing for the family, but they are not able to have home lives in which the tasks at home are equally shared. The hag is still alive and well in our homes, isn’t she? If the hag is present, then both the hero and the hag have some soul-searching to do.

The hero may hear the answer from the hag, but it is up to him to enact it. Because of the structure of our society, if he doesn’t pay attention, the hag remains imprisoned, and so does he. In this story, though, the spell gets broken. Gawain went to her at once and kissed her. When he stepped aside before him stood a serene, beautiful woman with gray eyes and a smiling face. His scalp tingled with shock, and he jumped back. "What manner of sorcery is this?" Ragnell replied, "Do you prefer me in this form?" as she turned slowly in a full circle. "Yes, of course, but I don't understand," stammered Gawain, confused and frightened.

"My stepbrother Gromer has always hated me. He obtained a knowledge of sorcery from his mother and used it to change me into a monstrous hag. He commanded me to live in that shape until the finest knight in Britain willingly chose me as his bride." "But why did he hate you so cruelly?" asked Gawain.

Ragnell said, "He thought me bold and unwomanly because I refused his commands, for both my property and my person." With great admiration Gawain said, "Then you have won the impossible condition, and his evil spell is broken!" "Only in part, my dear Gawain." Her eyes held his steadily. "You have a choice which way I will be. Would you have me in this, my own shape, at night in our chamber? Or would you have me grotesque in our chamber at night and my own shape by day in the castle? Fair by night, or fair by day -- think carefully before you choose."

[break....silence]

After some thought Gawain knelt before his bride and responded. "It is a choice I cannot make. It concerns you, my dear Ragnell, and only you can choose. Whatever you choose, I will willingly abide by it." Ragnell released a long, deep breath. The radiance in her face overwhelmed him.

"You have answered well, dearest Gawain. Your answer has broken Gromer's evil spell completely. The last condition he set was that, after the marriage, the greatest knight in Britain, my husband, must give me the power of sovereignty, the right to exercise my own free will. Only then would the wicked enchantment be broken forever." And so in wonder and joy began the marriage of Sir Gawain and the Lady Ragnell.

What was the risk that Gawain actually took? It was the giving up of his own control over the situation. He had to completely give up his interests in what Ragnell chose, trust her to make the one that was the best for her, and hopefully for him. It turned out better than he could have imagined because he was stuck in the either or of the choices whereas she knew there was a transcendent option.

Now, the good feminists in the room are asking - why did Ragnell need Gawain’s actions to claim her sovereignty? We have had and to a large extent still have to live in a patriarchal system. Until fairly recently women couldn’t own anything, not even the right to keep their own children should a marriage dissolve for any reason. In many parts of the world this patriarchal system is still firmly entrenched. It is therefore fitting in the context of a story that has been around since the 12th century that the characters would be the genders they are.

I will propose to you that, in addition to their reflection of our culture, these characters also live inside each of us, man or woman. They live in our unconscious and can be thought of as aspects of our complexes. We each of us have a Sir Gromer, King Arthur, Gawain, and Lady Ragnell in both her hag and beautiful forms. The bully of self-righteousness, the somewhat vain and unthinking leader, the absolute devotion and willingness to risk for an ideal, the horrible bitchiness that hides wisdom, and the beauty of free will and truth. These are all present and are part of the struggle inside of each of us as we battle to allow sovereignty to live in our lives. We need both the masculine and feminine principles in order to live lives of free will. Today, in many ways we already value the masculine, the feminine principle is one that we, both genders, have to have more faith in.

Beauty comes by listening deeply for the truth. What is behind that which is ugly? What strength of character and integrity is needed to overcome natural avoidance and the tendency to turn away from what is not pleasant? How much, and how do we have to risk in order to allow others their sovereignty?

Sovereignty is something desired by every person and every country - to be able to rule over oneself, to have power to make one’s own decisions in one’s own life, as well as in the life of a country. The fostering of sovereignty is a profound political act, it is also quite a difficult task within our own psyches.

Like the smelly stuff of pre-composted garbage, the icky gooey stuff that is hidden in our psyche can be transformed into luscious sweet-smelling dirt that will grow beautiful vegetables and flowers. Like piles of brush and paper the detritus of our lives must be burned to rid us of too much junk. Compost your psyche’s garbage and burn it’s trash - winter is a good time to clean out your internal closets and hidden places and let the wonderful flower that is you get ready in the spring... to bloom.

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